A great writer (well, okay....me) once* wrote, "Sequels are like that 
second piece of pie....no matter how good the first piece was, the 
second is just not going to be as satisfying."  That writer now works 
in a crappy government job, but the sentiment he expressed still 
holds true today.

* "once" in the sense of "just now"

Thus, it should come as a surprise to no one that "Annie Warbucks," 
playing through June 10th at the Gainesville Community Playhouse, 
just isn't quite as satisfying as the original.....which is not to say 
that it's a bad play, by any means.  And the wonderful job done by 
the cast makes it well worth seeing.

This story begins just a few hours (which, coincidentally, is how 
long it took to write the entire sequel) after the original ends.  
Annie and "Mac" Daddy Warbucks and the gang are celebrating Annie's 
adoption and the Christmas season in general, as the orphans sing 
"Merry Christmas, Annie Warbucks".  (They also sing it again at the 
end of the play, even though by then it is technically late 
February.)  Everybody is overtly happy, which is the signal for evil 
to rear its ugly head (in the form of Pat Thompson).  From there, 
it's pretty much a repeat of the plot from the original.

Commissioner of Orphans Harriet Doyle (Pat Thompson) walks in to 
Warbucks' living room (apparently after disabling the 27 security 
personnel guarding the mansion who would have tried to stop her) and 
announces that Annie's adoption is illegal, according to an obviously 
made up New York City law that no one bothers to actually look up.
She then tells Warbucks the only way he can keep Annie is if he finds 
and marries a woman to be Annie's mother within 60 days.  
Unfortunately, Warbucks falls for the phony story, because the evil 
Commissioner has carefully crafted every aspect of her complex plan 
over a period of many........minutes, since Annie's adoption became 
final.  Also, Warbucks' lawyer is in on it, but you don't realize 
that until the play ends, or until you read this review.  Sorry.

Anyway, Warbucks spends the next 7 scenes searching for a suitable 
woman to marry, and of course ends up choosing the Commissioner's 
daughter (Shiela Kelly, played by Mary Thompson), who has been coached 
by her mother into being exactly what Warbucks is looking for.  Warbucks is 
finally swayed to Shiela when she sings her "favorite" song, an old 
Irish lullaby ("Come On Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners)  that Warbucks' 
mother used to sing to him after she came home from a long day 
working at the Hell's Kitchen Starbucks.  Also, Warbucks is 
irresitably attracted to Shiela's official Bride of Frankenstein hairstyle. 
Meanwhile, Annie and the other orphans go around singing and acting 
like the cutest little things you ever saw (not counting the time you picked 
up that baby raccoon and it licked your face and you had to get a rabies shot).

And so, eventually, Act I ends with Annie telling the other orphans 
she is running away, in the following scene taken directly from the 
script:

Annie:  "Okay, well, I'm running away now.  I gotta go pack.  See ya."

(Annie exits stage L.  Warbucks enters stage R. exactly .03 
nanoseconds later.)

Smarmy Orphan #3:  "Guess what, bald dude!"

Warbucks:  "What?"

Smarmy Orphan #2:  "Don't you dare tell, Smarmy Orphan #3!"

Smarmy Orphan #3:  ":PPPP     Annie ran away!!!"

Warbucks:  "Dear God!  Where did she go?"

Smarmy Orphan #3:  "Well, by now, I'd guess she's about halfway up 
the stairs on the way to her room to get her stuff."

Warbucks:  "Whew!  That's a relief!  I'll go stop her.  And even if 
she gets past me, it's over 3 miles in every direction to the edge of 
this estate, and there's no way she could traverse that without being 
noticed by one of my innumerable staff."

Smarmy Orphan #1:  "Maybe you better just let her go, or else we'll 
have to end the play right here."

Warbucks:  "Whatever.  I think I'll go buy France now."

Smarmy Orphan #1:  "Ewwww!  Why France?"

Warbucks:  "So I can bulldoze it and build a humongous parking lot."

Orphans:  "YAY!!!!!!!"


And so Annie runs off to Mexico to spend the rest of her life juiced 
on tequila, but alas she takes a wrong turn at Alberquerque and 
regretfully ends up in the heart of Tennessee farm country, where she 
meets up with the Patterson family, who later go on to put on bear 
suits and become the Country Bear Jamboree at the Magic Kingdom.
But for now, the Pattersons are poor dirt farmers (as opposed to the 
rich dirt farmers you see nowadays).  The whole area is economically 
depressed, because every year the Spurrier river floods the place, 
and those Tennessee people just have not been able to figure out a 
way to stop it.  (HA-ha!)  And so the kind-hearted Pattersons take 
care of Annie until they learn who she really is, at which point they 
scrap their plans to kill and eat her, and instead drive her to 
Washington, where Warbucks is conducting a national campaign to find 
Annie, working with the best and brightest of our nation (and, 
interestingly, none of them catch on to Commissioner Doyle's 
blatant lie about New York's adoption law either).

And then Annie comes home, yada yada yada, some other stuff happens, 
and then Warbucks' lawyer pulls out a gun 3 feet away from the 
President of the United States, prompting the Secret Service to leap 
into action and heroically just stand there.  (This was back when the 
Secret Service was part of the Teamsters).  Then the bad guys go to 
jail, and the Pattersons get a very generous reward, causing them to 
scrap their plans to kill and eat Warbucks' butler Drake. Warbucks 
decides to go ahead and marry Grace Farrell, because he hates to 
waste all that money catering a wedding and then not have one.  
Everyone lives happily ever after and goes to eat some wedding cake. 
(Except for Alvin Patterson, who has his own piece of Cake after the 
show when he gets home).


I said before (I think.  Honestly, I don't really remember...) that there 
was some good acting in this show, and here are some of the 
highlights:

Hanna Peterson and Brittney Kelly as Annie:  These two pretty much 
alternate shows, and both of them are great.  Brittney has a bit more 
energy and can really belt out her lines and songs.  Hanna does a 
fine job herself and really looks like Annie, whereas Brittney looks 
more like a little girl wearing a dyed-red chinchilla with a perm on 
her head.

The other kids as The Orphans:  Wow.  You can really tell that these 
girls were the top 0.13% of the 17,000 who auditioned for the 
show.  They were by far the best part of the show, and didn't get 
nearly enough time on the stage.

Michael Huey as Puff Daddy Warbucks:  See anything I've ever written 
about him before in any other show.  Solid, dependable.  Like a rock.

Pat Thompson as Janet Reno:  Very good at being very bad.  It's like 
Pat was born to be evil.  My favorite part was when she sent in the 
armed federal marshalls to take back Annie.

Mary Thompson as Sheila Kelly:  Mary does a fantastic job of going from 
a seemingly sweet, innocent girl to the Super-Mega-Evil-Bitch Queen 
of the Universe(tm).  There's a word for someone who does that.....that 
word is "woman".  (Ha ha!)

Linda Sabis as Grace Farrell:  According to an ad in the paper I saw 
a few weeks back, part of the reason Linda got this role was the 
amazing Hyberbaric Oxygen Chamber Diet (or something).  This was in 
the NEWSPAPER, people.  I don't make this stuff up......

Regi Woods as Drake:  Regi does a very fine job playing the smart, 
talented black man forced into menial labor by the oppressive white 
race.  He deftly uses his acting skill to manipulate the inferior 
Caucasian Warbucks, who has been unjustly raised to power through the 
corrupt machinations of the white man.  The racial subtext is a very 
powerful element of this play.  Plus, Regi just looks so CUTE in his 
little butler outfit......

Nick Bazin, Susan Christophy, and Sissy Bell as the Country Bear 
Jamboree:  Apart from some gratuitous tap dancing, the whole family 
does a great job.  In the words of Alvin T. Patterson, "I'm very 
pleased....I think I'll have some more Cake...."

Bill Rockwood as FDR:  Bill is truly delightful as FDR, and I'm sure 
he's also delightful in whatever reality he seems to fade into at 
times.  The following is an actual* transcript of a scene from opening 
night:

Warbucks:  "Now, Franklin, about this whole TVA thing...."
FDR:  "I wanted CHEDDAR cheese, dammitt!!!!!"

* "actual" in the sense of "actually made up"

Bill DeYoung as Simon LeGree:  I have a lot to say about Bill's 
performance, but I've been forced to cut most of it out to meet space 
limitations.  Suffice it to say he does a good job of not showing his 
evil side until the end, which would give off harmful suspense rays 
that could cause cancer in audience members.

Ed MacKay as Sandy the Dog:  Ed unfortunately was euthanized in an 
accident at the UF Vet School before the show opened.  At least, 
everybody there SAYS it was an accident.....

Sarah MacKay as the Smart, Sexy Stage Manager:  Three words:  Oh, 
yeah, baby.  Warbucks can have his little blonde floozy; I'll take me 
this lady anytime.

Cristine Antolak as the Smart, Sexy House Manager:  I only bring 
her up so I can mention my recent discovery that the letters in 
CRISTINE ANTOLAK can be anagrammed into "ONE RITALIN STACK"
Also "TOT AIRLINE SNACK"



MISCELLANY

Once again, the set design for a GCP show is nicer than any house 
I have ever personally lived in.  The interior of Warbucks' mansion 
was very nice, although the rest of the set was not especially 
impressive.  And what was up with those signs?  By the way, "White 
House" is two words.

The costumes in this show were super-fantabulous. According to an 
inside source I talked to (We'll call him "Frank E."), the entire costume budget 
was "about tree-fitty" (I assume he meant $350,000).  From the 
opening scene with the ensemble cast as maids, cooks, and butlers to 
the final wedding scene when all the orphans come out dressed as 
Skittles (taste the rainbow), the costumes were superb.  According to 
my count, there were more different costumes than there were actual 
lines in the show.  I suggest you come see this show just so you can 
find out where GCP's building fund went....

One thing about the plot that bothered me:
If Commissioner Doyle only wanted to get rich, why couldn't she just 
vote herself an enormous raise like other city commissioners do?

For those of you wondering when you should come see the show, let me 
recommend either of the last two performances.  I won't say why, but 
I'll give you a subtle hint:  Luvmaster Warbucks. 
I've already got my ticket for it.......



FINAL ANALYSIS

This is a decent show filled with some very good performances.  
I wouldn't give the writers any awards for it, as it's clearly not as 
good as the original, but it's a passable show on its own.  The 
actors, particularly the kids, are what make this show worth seeing.
I hear it's selling out fast, so go get your tickets now.

-john