About The Waffle Page™

In case you haven't figured it out yet, The Waffle Page™ contains almost no information that is actually true. I made it all up. The only thing not made up is the Relatively Quick 'N' Easy Waffle Recipe, which is supposedly an actual waffle recipe that my friend Jim uses. Everything else is just a lie. Except for the Julia Roberts dream, which I have frequently, although I almost never seem to be asleep when I do.

All pictures on this page were "appropriated" from other sites under the doctrine of "Fair Use," which states that it's fair to use other people's intellectual property, so long as the cost to those people to sue you would far exceed any damages you would ever be able to pay. However, I'm perfectly willing to compromise; if you would like to complain that I stole an image from your site, you will need to personally visit our Ombudsman's office in Bangladesh (currently closed for monsoon season.) (Not just our office; I mean the whole country is closed.)

If you have any comments, corrections, bribes, offers to bear my children, offers to pay me lots of money to advertise your product here, offers to bear my children and pay me lots of money to advertise your product on them, or would like to tell me in 100 words or less why you think you could score with Natalie Portman if she wasn't completely drunk at the time, then just drop me a line.