Even if you don't know anything at all about the history of theatre 
(and you KNOW who you are), you've no doubt heard the name George M. 
Cohan before.....probably as an answer to a $400 clue in the Double 
Jeopardy(tm) round.  But there's plenty more to learn about the life 
of this amazing man, and since Jeopardy doesn't come on for at least 
another hour, you're damn well going to learn it......*

*technically, I may have to make up the parts I don't know for 
purposes of continuity, but there's still going to be a test later.


George Michael Cohan was born on July 3rd, 1876, in a log cabin just 
outside of Springfield, IL  (For show business purposes, he would 
fudge the facts a bit and tell people he was born in a taxi on the 
WAY to the log cabin).  It was a humble beginning for the man who 
would go on to lead Wham! through its glory years in the 1980s.
His father, Jeremiah, was a showman....was a good friend of mine....
I never understood a single word he said, but he sure did have some 
mighty fine wine.....Anyway,  Jeremiah Cohan decided to go into 
theatre when his Organ Grinder With Llama street act failed to 
produce any appreciable revenue, mostly because the llama would just eat 
your money then spit on you....(as a side note, the llama later went 
on to found Cox Communications).  Even as his son was being born, 
Jerry was performing on a stage.  He was a firm believer in the 
Cardinal Rule of Theatre, which states:  It's WAY safer to be in a 
theatre than in a room with a woman who is about to give birth.
Nonetheless, Jerry was overjoyed at the birth of his son, because 
there were no child labor laws at the time, and little Georgie was 
soon to become, metaphorically speaking, a theatrical pack mule.

By the tender age of [whenever], George was practically living on the 
stage........no, I mean he was really LIVING on the stage....his 
family couldn't afford a house.  So the family decided to take their 
act on the road as "The Four Cohans".  However, since there were only 
three on them, Jerry decided it would be prudent to have another 
child.  George's mother Nellie had a few thoughts on the matter 
(Specifically, her thoughts were: "Okay, smart guy, this time YOU get 
to push an 8-inch-wide baby out of a 3-inch-wide orifice in YOUR 
body....."), but eventually Nellie gave birth to George's little 
sister Josie, while Jerry made sure he was in a theatre 3 towns over 
during the actual birthing process.

And so the family took their act on the road, sometimes playing 
exotic locations such as Podunk, Ottumwa, AND Cedar Rapids.....ALL IN 
THE SAME MONTH!!!!  Jerry thought the act needed another kid, but 
Nellie made it abundantly clear there was no theatre in the world he 
could hide in this time.....and so the family moved in to Madam Grimaldi's 
Boarding House, or as historians now call it, The Island of Misfit 
Toys.  All the while, little Georgie was writing, producing, 
directing, choreographing, staging, and maintaining the web page for 
all of the Four Cohan's shows.  It was enough to give him an ego the 
size of Montana......which makes you wonder where the rest of it came 
from, because by this time his ego was the size of Saturn.

Anyway, to make a long story......less long......Little Georgie and 
the Cohans eventually got to Broadway, where they purchased a hot dog 
from a street vendor.  Alas, it would be several more years before 
they really hit the big time.  The act moved to Vaudeville, and 
George, after much personal reflection, decided it was time for him 
to get a wife to ignore.  And so, he met Ethel Somebody (no, that was 
her actual last name.........as far as you know).  But George had no 
time for drawn-out courtships, not in the new, fast-paced 20th 
century.  He met, courted, and married Ethel in the unique Cohan Way, 
which took all of about 12 seconds.  (Needless to say, the wedding 
night was a MAJOR disappointment for her.)  Eventually though, Ethel 
left George, changed costumes, and helped lead a strike against him, 
effectively ending her career.  Although she did make a brief 
comeback in 1973 as the Shameless Hussy in Ray Stevens' song 
"The Streak".

For many years, George was known as "The Man Who Owns Broadway", as 
he had a hand in the cookie jar of almost every single show produced 
there.  Ultimately, however, his star began to fade a bit, and his 
ego shrunk to the size of Mars.  Then his family started dying off, 
and his sister married a trucker and went off on her own.  And so, 
George decided it was time to retire with his new wife, whom he 
inexplicably kept referring to as "Worcestershire Sauce" (or 
something).  Of course, in typical Cohan style, his retirement lasted 
for about a minute and a half before he was ready to get back on a 
stage.  So his wife had to shoot him, because otherwise the freaking 
show never would have ended......


In case I didn't mention it earlier, "George M!" (pronounced "George M 
Factorial") is running now through August 6 at the Gainesville 
Community Playhouse (Motto: "This building is held together by two 
thin wires!  Enjoy the show!").  Directed by Ted Lewis and therefore 
featuring a cast of hundreds, the musical was "written" (in the sense 
of "edited together") by actual descendants of George M. Cohan who 
were worried that Broadway had forgotten the Yankee Clipper, until 
they realized that the "Yankee Clipper" was actually Joe Dimaggio.
More importantly, they were worried that the royalty checks seemed to 
be getting smaller each year, so they decided it was time to do 
something to keep them from having to go out and get actual jobs.

Unfortunately, the late George Cohan failed to leave any writing 
talent to his heirs in his will, and "George M!" doesn't work too 
well as a play.  The musical is essentially a George M. Cohan 
Greatest Hits album, but that probably would've worked better as a 
revue rather than a play.

>From the beginning, the "hero" George is portrayed basically as an 
arrogant, conceited jerk, which is not necessarily the best way to 
get the audience on his side.  And he never gets any better!  He goes 
from a young, pretentious egomaniac to an old, pretentious egomaniac.
It's one thing to have talent and be confident about it.  It's quite 
another to rub it in the face of everyone you meet.  At no point in 
the show does he become a truly likeable character.  You just want 
him to stop talking and sing the songs you came to hear....

And those songs are certainly here in abundance.  The show includes 
all of Cohan's best-known hits ("Give My Regards To That Grand Old 
Yankee Doodle Flag Over There"), plus approximately 47 of his 
lesser-known songs (including "The Erie Canal Song", "The New Rochelle 
Song",  "The Harrigan Song", and "It's Rainin' Men").

A sample of a Cohan song you may not be familiar with.....
"If you want to go where there's plenty of dweebs,
 And rubes that are dumber than trees, man,
 Just get on the bus at the end of the street,
 And get off when the driver shouts 'Chiefland!'"

Ted Lewis (who is, in the words of Artistic Designer Cristine 
Antolak, "a squee-head") and the cast do a good job with what they 
have to work with, but you can only ride a broken-down horse so far 
before the engine starts to overheat (or whatever).


Fortunately, the production is saved by plenty of very fine 
performances, but before we get to that, let's cause unnecessary 
strife by complaining about the understudy situation.  All the major 
roles in this production have understudies, which is perfectly fine.
A few of the minor roles have understudies, too, which is okay I 
suppose, but seems a bit superfluous.  And from what I've heard, 
there are 5 scheduled understudy shows.  Now, I have no problem with 
understudies having one scheduled show, but 5???  That's like having 
two different productions of the same show.  And I could even deal 
with that, except that in this particular production, there is a definite 
drop-off in overall quality from the lead to the understudy show.
Now, I'm not saying the understudies are bad; I'm saying that for the 
most part, the leads are notably better (with two exceptions, which 
will be noted below).  Every one of the leads is good.  Some of the 
understudies are good, too......than again, some are barely adequate.
And the audience doesn't deserve "barely adequate" when there are 
better alternatives.

That being said, let's take a look at some of the more outstanding 
performances given in this production, but first we need to make an 

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My knowledge and appreciation of dance ranges from the classical 
(Solid Gold Dancers) to the modern (Juggy Dancers from "The Man 
Show").  In additions, I spent a lot of Tuesday nights in the mid-1990's 
at the Florida Theater's Old Wave Night, where I danced for many 
hours. (That would be "danced" as in "moved around in a random 
fashion trying hard not to look like too much of an idiot".)  The 
point I'm making here is that all the dancing going on during this 
show looked pretty much the same to me.  As far as I'm concerned, 
everyone is this show was exactly the same in dancing ability.  
That makes reviewing them much easier......



Jonathan Gravely as George M. Cohan.  Jonathan does a very nice job 
with the difficult title role.  He sings and dances well, and does a 
good job of keeping the show together.

Christian St. John as George M. Cohan (understudy).  Christian also 
does a fine job as the title character.  He also looks the part a bit 
more, and his acting is slightly better than Jonathan's.  Overall, as 
to who makes the better George:  Too close to call.

Michael Testa as Jerry Cohan:  I was very impressed with this guy.  
He can act and sing well, and he had good facial expressions.  Here's 
to hoping he does more shows at GCP.

Cathy Jean as Nellie Cohan:  In the years that I've been watching 
local community theatre, I've seen many, many actresses who are good; 
I've seen some who are great; and I've seen exactly 4 who are 
special.  This girl is one of the special ones.   Alas, you couldn't tell from 
this show because she just doesn't have enough stage time to herself. 
She does a fine job anyway though.

Erin Murphy as Josie Cohan:  Erin does a capable job as the youngest 
Cohan, though it's overshadowed by the job she did as the Master 
Choreographer of this show.  Mark her down now for the Golden Apple 
for Choreography.

Loren Omer as Josie Cohan (understudy):  A few lines back, I was 
talking about 4 actressess I've seen who are special.  In case you 
were curious, those 4 are: the aforementioned Cathy Jean, Jenny 
Slattery, Keri Anderson, and the most recent addition to the list, 
whom I've suspected for a while, but who finally confirmed it with 
her performance here: Loren Omer.  This girl is a boatload of cute 
floating on an ocean of talent.  It is SO nice to see her on a stage, 
where she belongs.

Shannon Wright as Ethel the Shameless Hussy:  Wow.  That's all I can 
say.  Just go see her, because I can't find the adjectives to explain 
how good she was.  Try to watch her face the whole time, because 
that's a show in itself.

Sissy Bell and Brittney Kelly as the Girls Who Change Costumes Every 
5 Minutes:  Once again, words fail me.  These two are just amazing.
And Matthew Bell does some good work, too.

Alisha Giampola as Agnes Nolan:  A very fine performance turned in 
here by Alisha.  She makes a very sweet Agnes.

Cristi Resczenski as Beth the Lackey:  She really does do a good job, 
but I'm mostly mentioning her so her mom won't beat me up again....

There are a whole bunch of people in minor parts who were really 
good.  Too many to mention them all, but a few were especially good, 
including: Bradley Small as the Petsmart.com bear puppet, John 
Bateman as Sgt. George Peterson, Chicago Police (for 10 points, name 
that movie reference), Caitlyn Thompson as Faye Templeton, and Carla 
Melendez as the Chick Who Shoots The Annoying Violin Guy.



Final analysis:  This production has its problems, most of which 
involve the script.....but a talented cast and good direction make it 
a show worth seeing.  If you go on a night where the leads are 
performing, you'll get the best overall show; but even on understudy 
nights the show isn't bad.  And the chorus numbers are superb 
anytime.  Although they really should do something about those 
shoes......they make all kinds of noise on stage.......

-john