Palindromes! Palindromes! Palindromes!
Palindromes by Jon Neelands
Illustrations by Peggy Walker
How did little Suzy ask her mother to help her father blend baby Kevy's special formula?
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How did the pirate explain to his southern belle girlfriend the change that came over him at night?
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Celebrity crustacean agitates adventuresome rodents.
Or in other words...
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Why couldn't the Muppets sing at the old folk' home?
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Why did the farmer think his dog was posessed by the devil, and potatoes indicated the end of the world as we know it?
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What was the Land O’ Lakes’ CEO’s rhetorical response when asked if they were concerned with rumors of a class action lawsuit over their new product that was linked to binge eating?
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OK, for this to make any sense at all, you have to know that in the army, a master sergeant is frequently referred to as “Top.”
Why did the Scottish Master Sergeant refuse to wear traditional clothing after he contracted a sexually transmitted disease?
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First he was told to hire Donal Trump, and then Rosie O'Donnel showed up. What was he told to do with Rosie?
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(Little brother Kevy takes credit for this palindrome and illustration.)
What rules and regulations are being broken here?
This is nothing but an egregious violation of the...
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(Little brother Kevy did this illustration, Peg refused to lower her standards.)
How did the profane little girl respond when her mother put silver polish on the morning biscuits?
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Song of Fognos
To Idiot, o’ Idiot:
Dumb mud,
saw ‘tis a daft fad, as it was.
Tar bald nabob and lab rat,
wed now. Rag us not on sugar-won dew.
At lover’s revolt, a
deb mob saw I was bombed,
part agnostic, a tacit song. A trap?
Not never! Adieu, gory rogue. I dare vent on.
Ergo, ogre,
lives evil.
The author at work.
Doctors say we are born with left and right hemispheres in our brains, whereas Jon was born with a left, a right, and a then second left, similar to but different from my own condition of begin born with two left feet. Anyway, this third branial hemisphere leads to a weird form of cranial ambidexterity that in turn leads to his ability to write palindromes.
A. Do you think we should move the coffee machine out of Jon's office?
B. Do you get worried when he calls himself "Sir Fongos"?
C. Is Jon on O.J.? Si!